Retreats Are Transformational Spaces
In 2024, my friend and fellow CTI coach Julie Wong called me and said:
“We need a retreat. Do you want to do it with me?”
I said yes.
I didn’t know what it would entail. It was mostly blind trust and curiosity.
At the time, we were both craving something online connection couldn’t fully provide. We appreciated gathering virtually, but we wanted to really know the women in our community—to share space, meals, stories, and experiences together.
So we launched our first Asian Women Coaching Collective retreat.
We figured out the what, where, when, and who. I remain deeply grateful to Theresa Pak, Jennifer Lin, Kim Moriyama, Mo-Yun Fong, and Julie Wong for co-creating a culturally attuned space where connection and community could take root.
Over three days and two nights, we shared cabins and meals. We listened to one another’s stories. We witnessed each other’s inner work.
On our first evening, we sat in a circle and shared our names and their meanings. For many of us, that meant speaking the names we were first given—in Korean, Mandarin, Cantonese, and English.
I still remember what it felt like to be witnessed in that circle.
There was a level of care, love, and respect that is difficult to describe until you experience it.
And we didn’t have to explain ourselves.
Over the weekend, we explored who we were beyond our titles and roles. We worked with limiting beliefs. We practiced tantrum yoga.
The room shook with stomping, screaming, and the release of anger many of us had learned to suppress.
One of our members called it “sacred rage.”
That phrase stayed with me.
Standing in that room with other Asian women expressing emotions many of us had been conditioned to contain, I pictured our ancestors gathering in community—sitting around a fire, exchanging stories, calling one another forward, and offering support.
It felt primal.
It reminded me that healing does not always happen individually.
Sometimes it happens because someone else witnesses us.
Sometimes another person’s story gives us permission to tell our own.
Sometimes it happens because we finally have enough time and space to stop performing and simply be with one another.
Jennifer Lin and I returned to this work again in 2026.
This time, 14 of us gathered, and we intentionally built the retreat around community, connection, daring, and rest.
And something I’ve learned from both retreats is this:
Facilitators don’t actually create the transformation.
We create the conditions for it.
We can design the structure, establish the intention, choose the venue, exercises, pacing, and questions.
But we cannot manufacture what happens between people.
The participants create that together.
They choose whether to engage.
They choose whether to be vulnerable.
They witness one another.
They bring perspectives, stories, wisdom, laughter, challenge, and care that no facilitator could script.
As a 1:1 coach, I deeply value what can happen between two people. But retreats have shown me another form of impact.
Transformation can happen across an entire community.
One person’s courage can open something for another.
One generation can offer wisdom to another.
Someone else’s story can help us understand our own differently.
Across our two AWCC retreats, more than 20 women have participated. Many have shared that they felt deeply seen and heard, connected across generations, and able to rest, reflect, and work through parts of themselves alongside people who understood some of the cultural context they carried.
They didn’t need to explain themselves.
That has changed how I think about leadership and facilitation.
Our role isn’t always to create breakthroughs.
Sometimes our role is to create enough safety, space, intention, and presence for people to create them with one another.
And sometimes we go first. We model what is possible and give others permission to do the same.
You don’t have to hold all of the transformation yourself.
Sometimes you create the conditions for community to do what community has always done:
Witness.
Challenge.
Support.
Heal.
And remind us that we were never meant to do all of this alone.
I’m exploring a practical offering for coaches who want to host their own retreats.
If you’re considering hosting one, I’d love to learn what would be most helpful to you.
Thinking about hosting a retreat? Share what you want more support with in this Google Form.
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